Friday, May 18, 2012

I Held a Baby Today

I know I know. What's the big deal? The big deal is that they TERRIFY me. So breakable. Not sure what to do with them. Would generally prefer to avoid them. It's pretty common knowledge that if given the option between a baby and a puppy I'd choose the puppy 10 times out of 10.

Let me take a hot minute to defend myself for anyone that now thinks I'm an evil baby-hater. I will someday have babies because I LOVE children. Love love love, have to restrain myself from squeezing adorable children on the street, love. But babies? What do you do with them? I don't get it, never have. I've always assumed somewhere around age two is when the fun starts, and I'll just have to get through the baby stages with my own children. BUT today a seven month old made an appearance at work and I jumped right up to grab her and wasn't scared AT ALL. And I was very scared of her when she stopped by shortly after her birth. So, in summary, my future children stand a chance. Perhaps not a light bulb moment to the rest of the world, but to me these are some seriously big steps. In the words of Mick Bestie, "Good Job. Maybe by the time you have your own you'll be okay with a brandy new one!"

(Just a little unrelated baby humor for ya)

Saturday, May 12, 2012

When Did This Happen?

So I went on my date, which is so not worthy of an entire blog entry, but to sum up, my previous post about my dating behavior was once again, pretty dead on. I was a nervous wreck up to and during most of the date, despite the fact that I knew almost instantly I wasn't interested. This potentially just proves that I'm crazy, because I truly did not find the experience enjoyable and would have easily escaped after five minutes with him, could I have figured out how to do it politely.  That being said, I still think it's "good for me" (famous last words) so I'm going to keep trying and just cross my fingers that my dating attitude and skills improve. If nothing else, it's providing entertaining stories for my friends and I am certainly learning what I don't want.

Okay, now onto the most interesting little nugget I learned during this date...apparently girls these days are SUPER aggressive. He told me girls approach him, buy him drinks, and even ask him out... umm WHAT?! Normally I would seriously question that the pretentious dork I was sharing a drink with gets that much female attention, but this sentiment has been mirrored by too many male friends to ignore it. My mind is officially blown. More importantly, I am officially screwed. As the girl standing in the corner of the bar, waiting for nice, tall, cute, funny boys to flock to me, I clearly don't stand a chance. When did this even happen?  Are guys really okay with this cultural shift? From what I'm hearing, apparently they are. They even like it. I guess I should be proud of my fellow ladies, for not giving a shit and just taking the initiative to go after what (who) they want, but I can't help but find it a little disappointing. I like to be "chased", I like to know when someone is interested and see them putting in the work to show me that. Go figure, I'm high maintenance.

The compromise. In the interest of full disclosure, I'm fully aware that I'm the other extreme and it has been said that I'm borderline inapproachable. Roombud Bestie recently shared the following article with me, 10 Ways to Get Men to Approach You, which I'm sure was meant as mere entertainment, rather than a not-so subtle recommendation (Right Roombud Bestie??). I then shared this article with my friend Chase. Chase is one of my biggest critics when it comes to my lackadaisical approach to the opposite sex and instantly began identifying the things I would "never" do from this list. His attack was fair I suppose. I generally head out with at least three other people, leaving little opportunity for strangers to interject, and since I have been asked multiple times why I look "miserable" in bars, I guess I could work on the eye contact and adding a few more smiles into my repertoire. While I know for a fact that I will never be the type of girl elbowing my way in to spark up conversation with a boy, I suppose this is just another glaring opportunity for me to TRY. And by TRY, I mean try to put off starting my cat collection just a little longer.

So with all that said, I suppose I should start making myself stunningly beautiful so I can find a park where I can wait for boys to make eye contact with, shoot megawatt smiles at, and ask if I can pet their cute dogs. Instead of that, because it's my birthday, I'm going to finish making my 15,000 jello shots, create the best dance music playlist ever, slip on my highest heels and shortest skirt, and party my ass off with 40 of my closest friends. Tonight I am going to scream unapproachable. I guess I'll do the park thing another day.

Sunday, May 6, 2012

I Think We Should Probably Date More

As I was driving through the North End today with two of my besties, we passed a restaurant I recognized and I said "I went on a date there". This was followed by me trying to recall who I went on said date with, with Roombud Bestie reminding me "You went there with Reed." This was quickly followed by  Blonde Bestie's sarcastic comment, "Because you go on so many dates, it's hard to keep track". She quickly followed this with the statement "I think we should probably date more." As the two of us combined could probably count our "first dates" on one hand; I fear she is correct. This revelation, in partnership with today's viewing of the new RomCom "Five-Year Engagement" (highly recommended BTW), was enough to cause some slight Sunday Scaries and inspire a little self-evaluation.

I'm just gonna say it. I hate dating. The whole situation causes me anxiety. A little glimpse into my date preparation process:

Is he going to ask me out? I hope he asks me out. Shit he asked me out. Now I have to go out with him. Where are we going? What do I wear? What if I don't like him? I hope he's cute since I last saw him in college / this is a blind date and I'm basing this primarily on Facebook pictures / I met him at a dark bar where I was most likely on cocktail #3 and not in a position to select ideal future mates. Speaking of cocktails, I should make one while I get ready, just to take the edge off. Now I'm running late because the perfect outfit I planned is actually atrocious on and I had to change six times, pausing between wardrobe changes to sip wine, which in retrospect may not have been the best idea since I didn't eat all day in order to look my skinniest for the evening ahead. Fuckkkkkkkkk.

I haven't left my apartment and I've already given myself a headache, a stomach ache, a slight buzz, and turned my bedroom into a war zone. How to escape from the date if it's truly awful is a whole other bag of issues we haven't even explored yet.

Under normal circumstances, the obvious answer is to just avoid the things you hate. Peanut butter, scary movies, Dave Matthews Band...all things I regularly avoid with relative ease. But, given the fact that I do actually want to meet my Mr. Right someday (preferably in the near future), steering clear of dates doesn't appear to be a viable option. So with that said (and after years of trying to kick and scream my way out of this), I'm going to TRY. It's occurred to me that many of my friends actually love dates and I seem to be missing something here. Let's be honest, free food, a new restaurant, and something to do mid-week are all things that normally make this girl very happy. Add in the opportunity to be amused and potentially play the name game with someone new - maybe it's worth giving this crazy ritual another shot. Here's hoping, because I think I have a date next week and I can already feel the apprehension building....